I wanted to start this one with a big thank you to all my readers. This summer, though stressful and busy, has been a fun season for our family, and I’m grateful to have “taken it off” for a while.
As I wrote about in my last Substack, our Californian exodus officially commenced in early August. Setting sail on the Little Miss’s first birthday, we arrived in our new hometown in North Idaho, moved in, unpacked, and started our new life over the course of the last few weeks.
It feels good to be home.
Now that we’re here, we’ve been checking out a few local churches in the area to see where we might fit best, and, more importantly, where the Lord would lead us. We have a few in mind, and a few more still to attend, but we’re excited about wherever the Spirit leads.
But, since we’ve been here, there have been a few moments that have been spiritually eye-opening and have inspired me to write out my innermost thoughts yet again. So, continue on for your irregularly scheduled program…
In the time that we’ve lived here, one thing has become incredibly obvious to me: children need strong guidance. This isn’t to say I didn’t know that before. Parenthood makes that pretty clear in its first few moments, and any parent worth their salt could tell you that, especially when it comes to the younger, formative years. However, this personal revelation put additional emphasis on that tried-and-true idea by pointing upward as well as outward.1
Air conditioning isn’t a standard feature here in North Idaho. Instead, many of our neighbors have their own window units to keep them cool in the summer (which has been unusually hot these past few weeks). Of course, since we’ve spent the past few years – and, by extension, the past few summers – in Southern California, we didn’t feel it was necessary to re-install our own unit. Next summer we might feel differently.
In the meantime, we’ve bought a number of fans to keep our new Idahome cool, and they work pretty well. The box fans especially help the airflow, with the fastest rotation being our usual setting. Unfortunately, they also double as magnets of curiosity for our Little Miss, who can’t help but explore them up close.
Oftentimes, we’ve caught her attempting to slide her tiny fingers through the slits in the fan, just trying to grasp the spinning, plastic blades. Admirable is her determination and her tactics are cunning, though (by God’s grace) not enough to succeed in her dangerous goal. Miraculously, we’ve always caught her in the act and deviated our daughter from her new curious obsession. Though, we’re not always cuddly about it.
Make no mistake, we aren’t out here verbally abusing our child. Far from it. The only time we’ve ever intentionally raised our voices at the Little Miss is when she is in great peril. In this case, it means that when we yell “no,” we’re trying to save her from losing a finger or three. It’s pretty standard practice.
To anyone with a child, this isn’t new. It’s not groundbreaking or revelatory, nor is it anything to write home about. For many, this is just a “day in the life.” Their child heeds the warning, probably out of fear, and goes off to play elsewhere. Business as usual, nothing to see here.
But that’s not what happened the other day.
Sure, the same scheduled events unveiled the same way they always do. Our daughter nears the fan, sticks her fingers in places where they don’t belong, and gets a strong, “Baby girl, no!” from Dada. Without question, she listened and pulled away. As usual, I was overjoyed. She wasn’t hurt, maimed, or otherwise mangled, and instead could continue to enjoy the use of all five fingers on her right hand. But instead of running from me, instead of going back to her toys, she did something unexpected.
She ran to me.
I could’ve understood if she’d run away or moved on to some other interest, she’s a baby on the move after all, that’s what they do. But she didn’t do that, she didn’t even think to. She didn’t run away from me after being corrected, she ran – well, she butt-scooted, more accurately – to me and clung tightly. And just like that my outlook on parenthood changed.
When you become a parent, you become a lot more than just a caregiver. As Christians, we become symbols, pictures of how God loves us and how we, in turn, ought to love Him.
According to the Apostle Paul in his epistle to the Ephesians, the husband is meant to represent Christ as the head of the Church, while the wife represents the Church itself. It’s a beautiful picture of the Gospel that exists beyond parenthood and is formed when a man and woman unite as one in holy matrimony. There’s nothing quite like it, and when one experiences it, it’s easy to see why God made marriage in this way.2
But when you add a third to your family of two, the picture becomes a symbol not just for the outside world, but for the one you cultivate under your roof and four walls. It’s no mistake that, after finishing up his thoughts on marriage, Paul begins Ephesians 6 with an effort to remind children to obey their parents (“for this is right”).
Additionally, it offers a strong warning to fathers, not to provoke their children to anger. Instead, the Apostle explains that discipline and instruction in God’s truth should be the way.
When the Little Miss heard my instruction, instead of getting angry or scared, she found herself safe in my arms. She moved past the raised voice or the commanding words and instead of cowering at them, she found herself sitting with the one who spoke them.
We could all be a little more like my daughter.
As Christians (or, heck, any adult), our natural tendency is to pull away from correction. This isn’t to say that everyone correcting you is right (often, others don’t have the full story), or that their advice is sound (bad council abounds), but even when it comes to our Heavenly Father, we often run the other way.
The Old Testament prophet Jonah is a great example. Instead of heeding his God’s instruction, he ran in the exact opposite direction in hopes that he might escape the call. We all know how that turned out for him. Thank God for his abounding mercy towards us (and for the “better Jonah” we have in Jesus).
But what if, when corrected by our Father, we ran to Him instead of from Him? What if our first impulse was to cling tightly to the cross of Christ and remember that our sins have been forgiven and cast out? What if we trusted that the Holy Spirit’s work in us was for our betterment and that He only has our best interests at heart?3
My daughter choosing not to fear my correction and instead run to me for comfort in the midst of it couldn’t have been a bigger wake-up call.
Sometimes, I’m in awe at how often the Lord speaks to me through my daughter. For someone who can’t speak all too well, the Holy Ghost certainly gives her plenty of words that cut deep to the core. When she was first born, those words were that patience is a choice. When she was six months, it was the importance of routine. Now, I’m learning that correction and comfort can come from the same Source.
Yes, children need strong guidance, but they also need godly comfort throughout. To have a parent who is willing to discipline and instruct them in a godly fashion only matters if love is attached. As fathers, we are the first and arguably most important picture of who God is to our children. His role as our Heavenly Father is not by accident, nor is what Paul says about the husband/father’s role in representing Christ. As parents, we will help mold and shape our children into looking more like Jesus, but as fathers, we are a direct representation of Him.
Our picture of who God is and His trustworthiness often roots itself in who our dad was when we were young. Many days, that’s a frightening thought.
But then there are days like this. Days when my daughter runs to me after being called out, after being stopped from doing something that would ultimately hurt her. Those are the days that make it all worth it, the days that remind me what I was put here on this Earth to do.
In The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, C.S. Lewis once wrote that Aslan (himself a representation of Christ) “isn’t safe. But he’s good.” Even today, these words ring true. When picturing Jesus, most picture a sort of hippie-like peaceful wise man who died for “spreading the love,” while ignoring that scripture calls Him a warrior, an avenger, and a King. Jesus flipped tables and whipped people in the temple, after all, and is prophesied to come back with a sword.4
No doubt, God isn’t “safe” in the traditional sense. He’s safe in that He protects and loves us, but that doesn’t mean He can’t be dangerous to His enemies. Additionally, He can be dangerous to His followers too. It’s not easy or comfortable to change your life, to live as disciplined as a Christian is meant to. Sure, we’re safe when we’re with our Creator, but He Himself isn’t “safe.”
This is where the picture of husbands and fathers representing Christ can break down, though that’s not a bad thing. After all, a picture isn’t actually the thing it represents. Rather, it’s meant to point to the real, authentic subject, not replace it. As husbands and fathers, we point our families to Christ, but we don’t become Christ in the process. We should aim to be more like Him, but not to be Him. That was Satan’s first mistake.
I have found a lot of hope and peace in that distinction. This doesn’t make my role any less important, but it certainly lightens the load, reminding me that my life is entirely in God’s hands. “Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?,” Jesus once asked. None of us, and we’d do best to remember that.
Thankfully, as of this post, the Little Miss has not shown much more interest in sticking her fingers into the fan. For the most part, she’s content to leave it be and let it cool her down while scooting around the living room floor. Maybe one day, I’ll be just as content to heed my Father’s instruction, clinging to Him the entire way.
This Week’s Petty Picks
The Return of the King is J.R.R. Tolkien’s final installment in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and by George it’s fantastic. If you think you know this story because of the Peter Jackson movies, I can assure you that you do not. No doubt, there’s a reason that this is one of the greatest fantasy epics out there.
Having finally finished The Lord of the Rings (maybe I’ll do a piece on that sometime) it’s become clear to me just how inspired Tolkien was. His worldbuilding is impressive and his characters rich, even if his prose is a little slow (in that regard, I prefer C.S. Lewis). Definitely check this one out!
Unstoppable was the final film by director Tony Scott (brother to Ridley Scott) before he died in 2012 that features amazing performances from Denzel Washington (my personal favorite) and Chris Pine. A blue-collar story at heart, these two must stop a runaway train before it kills hundreds.
Inspired by a true story, Unstoppable is a movie that I hadn’t seen in a few years, but one that I always find my way back to. It’s tight, suspenseful, and a beautiful story of personal redemption and responsibility. Oh, and if you love Denzel, he’s great here as always.
The Ghost of Johnny Cash is an artist recommended to me by a friend who knows how much I love the real Johnny Cash. Generally, he covers songs that Cash never did with a voice that sounds as close to the original during his American years as one could hope for (with a hint of Colter Wall in there too).
Personally, my favorite tracks are “Let It Heal You,” “Cold Hearted Company Man,” and his cover of “House of the Rising Sun,” but all of his tracks (even his covers of Cash’s songs) are pretty good. You can find him on Spotify here.
Upward here is in relation to our relationship with God above, while outward is in reference to our relationships with those around us. Our “neighbors” as Jesus calls them.
It should be noted that, though the Christian picture of marriage is often criticized for its “sexist” nature, it’s the exact opposite. When God set up matrimony in Genesis, he’s clear that Adam and Eve were both equal in value, even if they had different roles to play. It’s not unlike having two kitchen appliances that cost the same price (worth the same value) but have different functions built into their design. That’s just the way our Creator made us and that’s okay. In fact, contrary to popular belief, it’s those differences that deserve to be celebrated.
Additionally, it’s worth noting that even though the husband is the one who represents the Son of God in this scenario, Paul is clear that husbands are supposed to submit themselves to Christ as He submits to the Heavenly Father (the Trinity itself is relational and hierarchical in nature, yet Father, Son, and Spirit are all equally One God). The idea that wives are meant to submit or honor their husbands isn’t exclusive to the woman, the man must do the same with his Lord.
Note: Just because He has our best interests at heart doesn’t mean He doesn’t require hard things. Since we live in a fallen world, fallen things still happen.
Technically that’s not literal, but you get the picture.